Outmoded, outdated,

Past tense, perhaps,

But I get frustrated,

With anything more

Technical, than a

Toaster, electrical

Appliances are the bane

Of my existence,

So I refrain,

From their usage,

Even phoning

Often seems to

Get me moaning,

I would rather,

Send a letter,

Ink on paper,

So much better,

And more likely,

To impress,

Than an abbreviated


And as for writing,

Don’t get me started!

I look at the computer,

As if it farted,

The keys fill me with rage,

Oh, for parchment!

Give me a page!

The cold and glassy,

Stare of the screen,

Has me muttering

Words, obscene!

(The ones you would not

Utter before your mother)

The laptop and I are

Far from lovers,

And goodness! Gosh!

(And, of course, Golly!)

This poem has made me

Sound a wally!

But I had to vent,

Make my mood lighter,

Explain I’m NOT a typist,





(Though, I had to type this up to post it!)